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LooP PooL
(working title, until we find a better pronounceable palindrome…)
A light hearted allegory about the dangers of temporal causality loops, and a handy introduction to some of the major paradoxes in temporal mechanics.
This is still extremely rough, but should be enough for everybody to get a feel of the plot…
Characters:
3 Main characters:
Mafia Guy – Guido. He’s… You know… A guy that looks kind of Italian and mafia…
Scientist – The guy who first starts looking for the toilet time machine.
Wacked out guy – He is insane, but likeable, and often seems to, in his own idiot savant way, understand the intricacies of temporal mechanics better than the scientist… at least until his eyeballs explode and he turns into a flowerpot.
Future:
Killer Robot Driving Instructor – self explanatory
Pie – best friend of the KRDI
Aliens/Blobs/General robots, etc. – assorted background characters
Dinosaurs:
Dinosaurs in past
Super-intelligent cabbie dinosaur
Blobs – okay, so blobs aren’t dinosaurs, but they exist in the alternate present where dinosaurs rule the world.
Middle Ages:
Several peasants
* Anything with an asterisk is directly from the very first draft of this document, and is probably essentially incomprehensible
- Anything with a dash was added after the first draft, and hopefully makes a bit of sense. Only read the dashes, and not the asterisks, for the most part.
*Need to find a toilet – it will be a time machine.
*Need to go on a mission to prevent temporal causality loopy mabob.
- Three friends are watching a movie (LooP PooL II, the sequel). After the movie, they are driving home, when they see the first McDonald’s restaurant, and the scientist guy insists that they go inside, go to the bathroom, and find a toilet, as it will be a toilet-time machine. The two friends (the mafia guy and the wacked out guy don’t really understand, but they need to take a leak, so they go to the bathroom. ) Scientist guy declares that he has found the time machine, and says that they must immediately go on a mission to prevent a temporal causality loop paradoxie thing, flushes, and they are swooshiemadood up in a super mega vortex
*Wind up someplace, going backwards with respect to local time scene. See themselves telling themselves that local temporal coefficient is .3. Set to .3, flip to going forward, see selves going backward, wonder how they knew that it was .3, they appear, tell themselves, then, they tell themselves before they appear, then they go, then they appear, then they go. Okay, maybe that wasn’t perfectly explained, but even so…
-The time machine takes them to the distant future (or something), but the trio is going backwards with respect to local time. Thus, everybody else seems to be going backward. Looking around, they see themselves moving backward. Okay, for the sake of consistency… Them-A is the group that seems to be going forward to the viewer. Them-B is the group that is travelling with local time. Them-B shouts an explanation of how to recalibrate the toilet time machine in order to stay with local time. In a flash, a third group of the main characters appears, and whispers something to Them-B. Them-C (this third group) then disappears. Them-A is converging on the location of Them-B, calibrating the equipment. As Them-A and Them-B meet, Them-A finishes calibrating the equipment, there is a flash, and Them-A is now going forward with respect to local time, and Them-B is going backwards. (Them-A will consistently refer to whoever is "first person" for the scene, throughout this document, hopefully…) Anyhow, Them-A is now going forward, and they realize that they need to tell Them-B how to calibrate their equipment, so that time doesn’t get all flooby-joobied. They wonder for a few seconds about how they knew how to calibrate the equipment, since it would be a strange sort of loop, if the only way that Them-A knew was because Them-B told Them-A, and the only reason Them-B knew is because Them-A told Them-B. This is when Them-C appears, and whispers how you calibrate the equipment to Them-A, then disappears. Them-A then shouts this information in reverse at Them-B, who then disappear. Them-A then… ummm…. Does some stuff, or something… They could just walk into the next scene, or flush to it…
*Wind up in future, meet killer robot driving instructor who travels through time, and is the best friend of a talking pie.
-While in the future, the three friends happen apon a killer robot driving instructor, whose best friend is a pie. I don’t have this scene completely worked out, but the KRDI has to make a decision that determines whether or not the pie will die. This circumstance results in flashback on both the part of the pie and the KRDI to when they first met. The KRDI has a rediculously over-romanticised view of the event, vaguely involving an orchestra, and some dancing. The pie remembers it a bit more plausably as the KRDI having gone to a café, where the two met, and talked, as opposed to a banquet hall, and dancing. The KRDI remembers that he has a letter that he got several years prior, which was intended for just this circumstance. He opens it, and reads that he should choose not to kill the pie, as it will save the pie’s life. The trio takes the letter from the KRDI
After seeing the flashbacks, they comment about how ironic it was that the robot would have the more romanticised view of events. Guido addresses tha audience, "Irony, like apuh-strofe, is one er them advancamated plot thingies, like from literature." Scientist: "Guido… you mean apostrophe, not apuh-strofe…" Guido: "Do you mind, I’m trying to talk to the audience…" "I don’t see any audience…" "What do you mean… Look right there…" "That’s a camera man, Guido."
*Go back in time, kick some dinosaurs.
- Pretty straightforward in first draft…
*Travel to present, meet super-intelligent dinosaurs.
- After kicking the dinosaurs, they travel back to the present in order to see if they have changed time. They dicover a futuristic world filled with super-intelligent dinosaurs. They happen apon a cabbie, and talk to him for a while, discussing donosaurian history. War was ender 53 million years prior. No beings want. There is free trade with every other civilisation in the galaxy. The world is relatively perfect. A few of the guys randomly start talking about the lack of freedom in a perfect world, and mention the blobs. One of them suggests stealing a space ship, and going off into space in order to be free, and away from the oppressive blobs. The cabbie explains to them that blobs and earthers are equals, and there are no concerns about freedom. The two are slightly calmed down, but still concerned. They then ask the cabbie if there is any place to go get a bite to eat, like some pizza or something. He says that he doesn’t know what pizza is. Shocked the trio starts screaming, and travels back to the time when they kicked the dinosaur.
The dinosaur, after they ask where there is something to eat, suggests, "The Camel Hoof," a restaurant on Hershey Highway that serves vertical bacon sandwiches, and really good hair pie, and is easily identifiable by the beef curtains hanging on the walls. One of the trio comments that it would be the perfect place to /munch on something/. They go on their way, when they see another copy of themselves busy filming the sequel that they saw at the beginning of the movie. The guys in the movie ask the group of themselves in the sequel if the Camel Hoof is any good. Them-B tells Them-A that they don’t have any pizza in the alternate universe. Them-A instantly freaks out, screaming about the horrors of such a damned world, and travel back to right before they kicked the dinosaurs.
*Travel back in time, tell themselves not to kick the dinosaurs.
- They return to the place and time where they kicked the dinosaur, and stop themselves from doing it, screaming and crying about the horrible world with no pepperoni, no pizza, and also no desire, and no PIZZA!
*Travel forward in time. Convince middle ages people to give them money.
- For kicks, they decide to travel to the middle ages, and try to impress the peasants. They appear in a small medieval village, and claim to be wizards, and demand money, or they will send a plague, or something. The peasants, for some reason, all have lots and lots of gold on them, which they happily hand over, commenting that wealth is fleeting.
*Travel back in time a few minutes, and give the middle ages people money to give to them.
- Realizing how strange it is that peasants have lost of gold, they realize that they must have given the gold to the peasants. They travel back in time ten minutes, and give the gold to the peasants. The wacked out guy comments that the loop is really a nasty paradox, because the age of the gold is suddenly indeterminable, because it has to go through the loop in infinite number of times, each time aging, and this each time through the loop, things have to change a little bit…
*Travel sideways in time to tell themselves to tell themselves not to kick the dinosaurs.
- They are still so freaked out by the pizza thing that they decide to travel sideways in time to the alternate present in which the dinosaurs rule, and tell Them-B to make extra sure to go back in time and tell Them-C that they shouldn’t go and kick the dinosaur.
*Travel back to the first backwards scene, and tell themselves to tell themselves that the coefficient is .3.
- Them-A travels to the first scene after the bathroom, in which they were originally going backwards, and appears as what was previously Them-C. Them-A tells Them-B to tell Them-C how to readjust the equipment.
*Travel forwards in time, and introduce the robot to the pie.
- Turns out both the KRDI and the pie had it wrong… they met on a subway. Anyhow, the trio gives the KRDI the letter that they took from him earlier in the movie.
*Travel sideways in time, and talk to themselves about going back in time to tell themselves to go back in time and tell themselves not to kick the dinosaur.
- The wacked out guy comments that time might start to get messed up because of all the tampering they did with regard to kicking the dinosaur. His face then turns inside out, and he loses his nose. They realise that they have discomboobalated the time stream, and have to go sideways in time again…
Them-A = the current main characters.
Them-B = the characters when they went sideways in time to tell themselves to go back and tell themselves not to kick the dinosaurs.
Them-C = the characters who have just kicked the dinosaur and are now talking to the cabby
Them-D = the characters when they are just about to kick the cabby.
Okay…
Them-A travel sideways in time in order to catch Them-B before B talks to C. This is because when B talked to C, it effected the way that C talked to D, which altered the behavior of D, which resulted in D not leaving the flow of events preserved, because they stepped on a butterfly or something. A realizes that whatever they do, it has to be consistent with A’s memory of events, so A has to go sideways, and pose as C when they talk to B, so that B thinks they are talking to C, and A retains the memory of when they were B, and they talked to C. By doing this, they leave the timestream intact.
Wacked-out guy comments that A has no memory of them being D and talking to C after C returns from the alternate future to warn D. His eyeballs explode, and his ears start glowing…
*Travel back to the opening bathroom scene, leave the toilet time machine, walk off, then they walk on, looking for the toilet time machine…
-Blind, and with glowing ears, WAG returns to the very fist scene, just at the start of the movie, where they put the toilet time machine, so that the original them can find it. Scientist guy explains that this was the goal all along, as he said at the beginning – to avoid a paradox by ensuring that there way a time machine for them to find in the first place. WAG starts asking where the time machine came from originally, and what happens when it runs out of energy, as it runs an infinite amount of times through the continuous loop. This would require infinite energy be stored in the time machine. WAG turns into a teapot. The trio exits, and the original them walk into the bathroom, and discovers the time machine…
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