A Cup Of Coffee At Lunch                      

By Nadja Lee                                     23/09/01

English is not my native language. Please forgive me my mistakes.

Disclaimer: “X-men” and all the characters here belong to Marvel, 20 Century Fox and I intend no infringement, this is a piece of amateur fan fiction, and I make no money of it.

Only the original idea contained within this work is the property of the author. Please do not copy this story to any website or archive without permission of the author.

Timeline: Set in the movie universe. After the movie.

Universe: Set in the movie universe; NOT the book which goes with it.

Romance: Logan/Rogue, Ororo/Scott

Summary: Ororo thinks about Logan/Rogue, Scott and choices

Archiving: Want, ASK, take,  have.

Feedback: Yes, please.  It would mean a lot to me. My e-mail address is nadjalee2000@hotmail.com

Rating: PG

Sequel/series: None

Dedicated to Sorcieré.  I’ll always be there for you; thanks so much for always being there for me.

Also to Jonas who gave me the idea for this piece. Hope you like.

 

 “ We all have two faces. The one we show the world and the one we hide in the shadows.”

- Val Kilmer as Batman in “Batman Forever”

 

 

Part 1:

Ororo took her cup of coffee with her and tried to get past all the running students to find a free table. It was lunch break on a Monday and normally she would sit in the teachers’ office but she had decided to sit in the main dinner hall today. She liked to just sit and observe others; to be a part of it all yet stand at a safe distance. Having just avoided a collision with St. John she reached an empty table and sat down.

Her eyes ran over the big room; the students were divided into groups, the popular girls, the popular boys, friends hanging out and then…then the outcasts, the loners. She could see them sitting alone, wearing “fall into the wall” clothes or “I don’t give a shit” colourful clothes but no matter what they wore they were all alone. She had talked several times with both Sean, their English teacher, and Scott about what to do about it. They had all tried to discuss the division with their classes but Scott had said that it would do no good; they couldn’t force everybody to like everybody else.

She looked at how Bobby entertained some of his friends with his usual fooling around and she wondered what pain he carried in his heart to feel he always had to force a smile. She looked at Jubilee and saw how she played to the crowd and the boys; her clothes showing more than they hid and wondered why she would feel so insecure that she thought this was the only way others would like her. She saw Remy try to seduce one girl after another and wondered who had let him down for him to feel no woman was safe enough to give his heart but only his body. She saw St. John try to hide the looks he cast Bobby, a deep blush colouring his cheeks when Bobby caught his eyes for a moment and she wondered when he would feel ready to admit to being different, admit to being who he was and what he felt; to being gay. Her eyes found Sarah, a new student with a mutation, which did so that she had bones growing outside her body. She wore what Ororo called “ I don’t give a shit” clothes: pink hair, black leather pants, metal rings and chains the most unusual places…and she looked so lost for all her pretended confidence and not caring.

Ororo’s attention was drawn to the door as Rogue and Logan entered hand in hand. Rogue was smiling and laughing at something Logan had said and leaned against him. She looked so happy; her eyes shinning and an ever present smile on her face. The students moved out of their way; half of them were probably scared stiff of Logan and the couple sat down by an empty table. Logan patted his leg and said something, Rogue grinned and seated herself on his lap and they began to eat their lunch like that.

Ororo sighed deeply. She wished she could find such a love like theirs. Just the way they sat; Logan’s arms were around Rogue’s waist, holding her close and safe. Rogue was smiling and laughing as she fed him a piece of the chicken she was having. Such trust between them, as Logan’s lips were only inches from her bare fingers as he took the meat from her. Just to think that they could never, ever touch, never make love yet still they bore such deep affection and love for each other; it was truly amazing. In a time like this, in a country like this where relationships were more often than not based on physical contact it was like to find a white rose standing tall in the winter to see a perfect love as theirs break all rules and still shine through.

Jean entered the room and Ororo got so surprised to see her that she almost dropped her chicken salad she had been holding in her hands on the floor. Jean never eat with the students, in fact Ororo had never seen her here before. She really seemed out of place here with her red skirt and jacket and the always present high heels that she even wore in the lab. Jean’s eyes scanned the room and as she spotted Rogue and Logan sitting together her eyes narrowed. Now, there’s trouble, Ororo thought. Jean walked over to Rogue and Logan and began to say something. Logan gave a lazy smile and just held Rogue closer. Jean said something else and Logan got an angry look on his face. Jean said something that seemed to make Rogue sad. Logan saw it and got real angry, he lifted Rogue off his lap and stood up and popped his claws. Yes, definitely trouble, Ororo thought darkly and was to stand and interfere as Scott entered the room. He immediately spotted Jean, Logan and Rogue and a snarl curved his lips. With determined steps he walked to them and said something to Jean, which from his annoyed look and Jean’s ice stare could only be “stay out of Logan and Rogue’s affairs”. She said something and Scott’s voice raised a pitch or two in anger. Jean said something before she promptly turned on her heels and left. Scott looked after her for a while before he turned back to Rogue and Logan. He said something to Logan, probably about minding his manners and his temper. Logan’s claws withdrew into his skin again and Scott walked to the cantina to get some lunch. Rogue embraced Logan and he stroked her hair and whispered something in her ear before they sat down again; Rogue still sitting on his lap.

Ororo followed Scott with her eyes as he took his tray with a chocolate milkshake and a burger to an empty table. She couldn’t help but smile at his choice of food; he hadn’t had a normal childhood and for some reason what he had missed then he make up for with his childish choice of food. Scott began to turn pages in the newspaper, which had been lying on the table while he ate.

Ororo studied Scott, her eyes following his every move, the way he turned the pages and the way his lips curved in a small smile when he read the comic strips. Life never turns out the way you think it will; her life had certainly not turned out the way she had first thought it would.

She was born in Africa in a small village. Before Xavier had taken her to his school when she had been 17 she hadn’t seen much of the modern world save an old jeep which some help organization had had. Her parents had been killed in a civil war just 3 months before Xavier had come. Her mother had been an African princess and when it was discovered she had the power to manipulate the weather she had been worshipped like a Goddess. For 5 years she had been told she was a Goddess and she had believed it; why should she believe anything else? Then Xavier had come and the truth had changed a lot for her; so much that she had agreed to come with him to his newly founded school.

There had only been Jean and Scott when she arrived. Jean was already a doctor and kinda played mother to her and Scott. Scott had been…. very unlike the way he was now. He had been blind when she first seen him, blind and scared. Xavier had told her he had won custody over him at his youth hearing though the words meant little to Ororo; she couldn’t speak English and the words had no translation to her native Swahili. She could speak with Jean and the Professor because they spoke directly in her mind and got her answers that way too. But she couldn’t speak like that with Scott. She had felt scared and alone in a new land and a new home but her compassion for Scott had helped her to concentrate on something else than her own self pity. She remembered how underweight he had been, how afraid of touch he had been, he would shield away from anyone, especially Xavier. But with time, as she talked with him and stayed with him he began to trust her and though she knew he couldn’t understand her words he seemed to understand that she meant him no harm. He spoke very little until after 4 months together he had suddenly said;

“ You have a beautiful voice.”

He had said it in Swahili, just those 5 words; nothing more. After that she had gained the highest respect for him and his intelligence as she now understood he had been observing her as much as she had been observing him.

Their friendship were made easy because of their inability to talk and his inability to open his eyes; it made everything legal, everything like in a dream. She remembered when she had first guided him around the mansion, told him where things stood and how they looked. She remembered how she had comforted him when he had broke down crying because he couldn’t get used to the stick Xavier had giving him to help him find his way around. She had understood his anger and stayed out of his way when he wished it when everything became too much for him. Her best memory with Scott was when she had walked with him in the garden and she had happily told him about all the pretty plants and roses she had planted. He had asked how they looked and she had described them for him.

Then when both she and Scott were 19 Xavier had succeeded in making a pair of red glasses for Scott and everything changed. Their relationship suddenly had to be analysed by both of them, all words became guarded and it was impossible to tell when touching was all right. Over 3 months she saw the greatest relationship she had ever had crumble and fall to the ground.

Now, 5 years later, she understood why Scott had done as he had. As a blind, as a boy, he had depended on her, she had seen him at his worst, woke him up from his nightmares and helped him to shower so he could now shower blind as he still had to, she had seen the scars on his back and she had drawn her own conclusions on where they came from and how they connected to his fear of touch, especially from Xavier. She now understood that if he were to grow, to stand on his own, he needed to prove to himself, to her, that he didn’t need her, that he could do it himself.  Jean had fitted in perfectly; she was as cold and distant as a person can be and wouldn’t ask him to open up, she wouldn’t look beneath the surface, she wouldn’t find the real him, the scared and scarred boy that he carried with him inside.

When Logan and Rogue arrived it was as if the masquerade was finally ending. Logan and Rogue made it clear (mostly Logan but anyway) that they needed no one but each other. They dared to be different, dared to be themselves. Jean and Scott’s “relationship” had long been a farce; she was flirting and sleeping around with just about everyone and still expected Scott to be there for her. Ororo had been so mad at her for that and even more so because Scott let it happen as if he thought he didn’t deserve any better love. Then Logan came and Jean as usual made the moves on him only this time she didn’t end up in his bed as she used to. When Logan came back from Canada she had intensed her pursuit of him, not noticing that Scott was drifting more and more away from her in a more and more openly manner so he soon tried to avoid her all together. This time however, instead of love and a quick flirt Jean almost got a claw through her gut when she had tried to kiss Logan and Rogue had seen it and ran away in tears; misunderstanding the situation. That had been the last straw and Scott had broken it off with her in the loudest argument the mansion had ever had. Jean had been furious and still was; probably more because Scott had dared to dump her and not the other way around…and then he had mentioned her age of almost 35 in their argument so all could hear and she hated to be reminded of her age. She had been a real bitch to Logan, Rogue and Scott since then. She tried to come between Logan and Rogue but they didn’t let her and on missions she openly questioned Scott’s orders, apparently not realizing that when she questioned him she put them all in danger. Scott had been so mad at her when her carelessness had almost gotten Ororo killed that he had almost slapped her in the face in fury and refused to take her on missions until she swore to do as she was told.

It had been almost surreal to see Scott so confident in his role as leader as he was now and remember how insecure and afraid he had been as a child. Ororo remembered one time she and him had been drying dishes for Jean; Ororo handing Scott the plates and putting them away for him. She had accidentally bumped into the table in the kitchen and a plate had fallen to the floor and broken. Jean had raised her voice and yelled at her; though loud voices usually scared Scott he didn’t back down this time. With his hands stretched out in front of him he found Ororo and eased her behind him. He had warned Jean off; saying if she as much as thought about hurting Ororo he would open his eyes and blast her to kingdom come.

Ororo’s thoughts returned to the present and she still watched Scott eat. From time to time she thought she saw his red shades look in her direction over the paper but she wasn’t sure.  First now after Logan and Rogue had arrived had she admitted to herself that she loved Scott; not as a brother, a friend or team-leader but simply as Scott; as a person and a man. She signed deeply. But it was never gonna happen. Scott was as private and redrawn a person as she. They both had too much pain, too many memories and secrets to carry with them to dare open up and risk rejection. Better safe than sorry, wasn’t that how it went? But safe was also loneliness, the feeling of being forgotten, the feeling that you could just as well be one with the wallpaper; no one would notice you were gone. Loneliness is the scariest thing there is, maybe even scarier than the fear of rejection.

She was lost in thoughts, doubts and options as she suddenly saw Scott stand up. He’s leaving already? She thought sadly. But he didn’t go towards the door, he walked towards her. Ororo turned her head to see if Xavier or someone else was behind her; no, just bare wall. Just her. He came closer, his steps determined, his lips pressed together as if he was preparing for battle. Was he walking over to her?! Was he coming to her? He was. He was coming over to her. Damn, she needed something to comb her hair with; she probably looked like a mess. She quickly ran a hand through her long white hair and licked suddenly dry lips. Don’t get too excited, he probably just wants to talk about school reports or something, she warned herself but her heart was still beating wildly in her chest. He came closer and finally stopped before her table. For a long while he just looked at her, his eyes unreadable because of the shades. Say something, she thought to herself but her mind was a blank.

“ You want to get a cup of coffee…. with me?” he got out all at once before he looked down as if he was sure she would say no. She smiled happily and the sun outside the mansion got brighter. She looked at her full cup of coffee and smiled even more.

“ I’ll love that. Very much.”

 

The End