I’m him and he’s me                               By Nadja Lee                       21/12/00

English is not my native language. Please forgive me my mistakes.

Disclaimer: “X-men” and all the characters here belong to Marvel , 20 Century Fox and I intend no infringement, this is a piece of amateur fan fiction, and I make no money of it.

Only the original idea contained within this work is the property of the author. Please do not copy this story to any website or archive without permission of the author.

Timeline: Set a little after the movie

Universe: Set in the movie universe. Only the movie NOT the book that goes with it!

Pairing: Scott/Logan 

Summary:  A body shift and Scott is.. who?

Archiving: Want, ASK, take, have.

Feedback: Yes, please. My e-mail address is neh@post10.tele.dk.

Category: Silly fic- sort of, kind of.

Dedicated to: Jemisard as always. Your mind is as beautiful as your words.

Rating: NC-17

*mmmm * is telepathically thoughts spoken in the mind. “ mmmmm ”  is spoken out loud. // mmm// indicate flashback.

Part 1:

“ Today’s topic is geometry. We had reached the chapter of triangles. If I remember correctly you had pages 56-71 to read till today. That would be sinus, cos. and tan. rules,” Scott said as he had reached his desk in this; his first class this morning.  His shaded red gaze swept over the class of tired students. Man, teaching the morning class Mondays and then in mathematics really sucked.

“ Remy, will you tell us of the rules for finding sinus?” Scott asked as he had sought out his first “victim”.

“ The Cajun was very busy last night, Mon Ami,” the handsome young man said with a smile. Scott frowned.

“ So, I take it that you haven’t read these pages?”

“ No,” Remy admitted.

“ Please do so till next time. Peter, will you explain the nature of sinus for us?” Scott asked and sought out a student he thought more likely to have read homework.

“ I would , Tovarisch, but…I don’t understand it,” Peter admitted softly. Scott gave him a small smile.

“ That’s ok then. It’s better to have read and then admit to not fully understanding it than not reading at all.  Out of curiosity; how many of you HAVE read?”

Some seven students raised their hands. Just great, Scott thought darkly. This was all Logan`s fault. He had came back three days ago, Friday, and the students had celebrated his return ( arranged by Rogue and Jean) in the weekend.

“ So, I guess it would be stupid to ask how many of you actually understood this? I….,” Scott started before a blinding pain hit his skull and his hands went to his temples while he tried to keep from screaming. He felt like his whole head was about to explode.  As suddenly as the pain had started as suddenly did it end. Scott raised his head and looked…in colours!

He was in the Danger Room and a program was running. All kinds of sharp and dangerous things kept aiming at him and Scott instinctly just looked at them…and nothing happened! He took his hands to his eyes and felt them. His entire face felt…wrong. He looked down at himself. Strong arms, broad chest, legs….But not his own. Confusion and a million other feelings ran through his brain in under a minute. Suddenly a sharp pain made him look at his hands. Claws broke through the skin and Scott didn’t know how to stop them. They came all the way out and Scott looked at them as if he didn’t know what they were. It had hurt for them to come out but not all that much. Like three beestings on each hand. Speaking about pain…his always present headache from the powering of his blasts was gone. It was…incredible. He couldn’t even remember the last time he had been without that pain….and see in colours…even the white of the Danger Room walls seemed like Heaven to him. Suddenly an arrow came a little too close and Scott again looked at it until he in the last moment remembered that it didn’t work and clumsily tried to use the claws instead. One clawed hand sewed through it. Great, Scott thought happily and looked at the claws again. This wasn’t too hard. Suddenly 12 arrows aimed at him and came through the air all at once. Oh, no. He wasn’t sure he could avoid all those or had enough control over the claws to use them.

“ Program, shut down!” he ordered and frowned when he heard his own voice. It had sounded like...Logan’s. The Danger Room was designed so no one man could use it alone out of security reasons and therefore the program could also only be started or shut down from the outside. Except the Professor and his own, Scott’s voice would shut it down also from the inside.

“ Voice not recognised. Can not comply,” a female computer voice said into the air as the arrows came nearer. Scott, I think you are in trouble, he thought worried.  

Part 2:

“ What the…,” Logan said confused as he one minute had been in the Danger Room and the next stood before a class after the worst headache of his life. Why was he here? And why was he seeing everything in red? The colour made it hard to see shadows and see who was in the class. He frowned. Why did he fell such pain in his mind? He took his hands to his head and felt for his eyes only to find them covered by glasses. And not just that…his entire face felt different…younger. He looked down at himself. Legs, arms, nice broad chest…but not his own. Oh great, just great, Logan thought darkly. He instantly wanted to remove those damn glasses which was really beginning to bother him but stopped as a thought hit him. If he was in Scott’s class…was Scott then in the Danger Room, running his program? Fear ran through Logan. The kid could get killed.

“ Mr. Summers, are you…,” Kitty began concerned but stopped as he ran through the classroom and out the door as if the Devil was after him, leaving a very confused class behind. 

Part 3:

The arrows came through the air, aiming at Scott and he knew he couldn’t catch them all. The arrows came closer and Scott stood ready with his claws in front of him. Then as they were almost close enough for him to cut with the claws he heard a voice;

“ Duck!” he did as bid but that voice…it sounded like his own. A shot of red energy came through the room and the arrows were all gone. The beam was ill aired and on far too strong an intensity and strength than was necessary but it did the job done.

“ Program, shut down,” Logan yelled and ran to Scott, his heart in his throat. He had to be alright. He had to.

“ Program terminated,” the female computer said and all but a big white room disappeared.

“ You ok?” Logan asked worried as he reached the other man.

“ Yeah, thanks” Scott said and the two men began to walk out of the room.

“ Now, what the Hell is going on here?” Logan demanded to know as he was sure Scott was out of danger. 

“ I…I don’t know but…,” he looked Logan up and down and then looked at himself.

“ I know. You are me and I’m you,” Logan growled.

“ We need to see the Professor about this,” Scott said with a frown.

Part 4:

“ Professor, we have a problem,” Scott said as he and Logan entered Xavier’s room.

“ I know Scott. Both of you; sit down,” He nodded to the two chairs and the two men said down.

“ How…how did you know it was me?” Scott asked in Logan’s voice but without the other man’s accent or growling. Xavier smiled fondly at him.

* You forget, my son, that I know people by mind and not by body. I would recognise your mind anywhere. No other shines as brightly as yours* Xavier´s mental voice came easily to Scott after years of practice and he smiled back.

* Thank you,…father*

“ Let’s cut the crap. I want my body back!” Logan demanded and Scott’s voice sounded strange with those words and Logan`s accent.

“ Do you know what happened?” Scott asked and the Professor nodded.

“ Partly. A skilled telepath can remove minds from one body to another,” he knew Logan`s comment before he voiced it. “ And no, I’m sorry but I can’t undone this. Only the person who made the transfer can,” Xavier saw their disappointment and added; “ However the person who did this will have to have been close to do this. In other words he or she have been on the school and still are as a transfer like this takes a lot of strength and power.”

“ So, we’re looking for a sick kid?” Logan asked disbelieving.

“ Not sick just weak. It don’t have to be a student but it is someone inside the mansion.”

“ There’s a least 300 people in this mansion, Wheels. How do you propose we find one angry psychic kid?” Logan asked sarcastically.

“ I admit it will be difficult but I’ll keep mental tap on all persons in this house but made sure no leaves until she or he is found. However as she or he most likely never told anyone that he/she had mental powers it will not be easy.”

“ Maybe not as difficult as you think,” Scott mumbled and both men looked at him. “ We know that our minds have been switched but so does she. Or at least she thinks she does.”

“ Explain,” Xavier said.

“ Am I correct in assuming that he/she have no way of knowing if the switching took place or not?”

“ You are correct. He/She must have used a great deal of skill and power to prevent me from sensing their plot but if he/she was to try something now….”

“ You’ll know right away,” Scott ended for him.

“ Are you suggesting…,” Logan started shocked.

“ There is no other way. You will have to go on as if nothing happened and see if one of you can’t figure out who the responsible one is. The person will be very interested in your actions so it is important to act as the person you look like in order to trap him/her.”

“ Oh, great,” Logan growled.

“ If the person behinds all this thinks that you haven’t switched bodies he/she might either expose itself or try again and this time…correct the switching he/she don’t know have happened.”

Part 5:   

“ How the hell am I supposed to act like you?!” Logan complained as he and Scott went from the Professor’s office down the hallway. “ And then I guess I have to teach class as well.”

“ Yes. It is important that the one behind this don’t suspect anything,” Scott said seriously.

“ Does that mean I get to sleep with Red?” Logan asked with a leer, wanting to see Scott’s reaction.

“ I guess that’s up to her. We have separate rooms,” Scott said, his voice low and holding an edge of pain. He noticed Logan’s red stare and added; “ Jean and I broke up some time after you left. However I do hope we have come to the bottom of this within this day.”

A group of students went past them and Scott turned back to Logan.

“ I go where I want to, One-Eye,” he growled and the students smiled as they went past. All was as it used to with Logan being at Scott’s throat.

“ You actually sounded like me!” Logan said, shock and…sadness? In his voice. Did he really sound like that? So hard, so cold?

“ Yes, and you have to sound like me. Towards anyone but the Professor and me you are…Scott. You are Cyclops,” Scott said seriously as they had reached the door to his class and he was about to open before he stopped the action. “ This will be your class.”

Logan looked grimly with the red stare ( which was really, really bugging him now) at the door.

“ Do I have to? I’m no good with kids,“ Logan complained

“ Then learn,” Scott said and punched him nearer the door. Reluctantly Logan lay his hand on the handle.

“ Hey, where are you going?” Logan asked as Scott went away. He wasn’t leaving him here, was he?

“ You forget, One-Eye. I’m Logan. I do as I please and I go where I please. I have no responsibilities and nothing to do all day,” Scott said as he continued to walk away, a smile playing around his lips.

“ Man, this is so unfair!” Logan complained as he entered class. What the Hell was this class anyway? He looked at the students books as he entered; English Literature. Oh, great. A topic which he knew absolutely nothing about.

“ Morn` kids,” Logan said as he reached the desk. It was 10 in the morning. This was going to be a long day. As his red gaze went over the class he remembered who he was supposed to be. He looked for a familiar face among the students.

“ M….Rogue..,” he remember to correct in the last minute. Only Logan called her Marie. All others called her Rogue.  “ Rogue, will you tell the class what you thought of the latest….story?”

“ Ah didn’t have the time to read it, Mr. Summers. With Logan coming back and all,” she admitted with a small apologizing smile.

“ Oh, …Well, it was a long story so…,” he noticed the class stare and hurried to move on. “ Kitty, what do you think of the story?” he asked, knowing that she was a student Scott praised very much so she had to be good.

“ I liked the poem..” she amplified the word. “… very much. It think the author shows us a deeper understanding of the feelings in the post-romantic period of English writing. If we look at strophe 2, line 6 is says….,” she continued to explain but it was all Greek to Logan. How Scott could make any kind of sense in that stream of words was beyond him. This promised to be a very long day.

Part 6:   

“ Scott!” Someone yelled from the corridor and it took a minute for Logan to realize that it was to him there was spoken. It was 4 in the afternoon and he had just sat through class after class, having to “teach” on things in which he knew nothing at all. His respect for Scott had grown steadily throughout the day as he felt first hand what kind of life he lead. Not only was teaching the most demanding job he had ever done, surpassing fighting with Magneto any day, but the headache he had felt all day had grown so he now was sure his head would soon explode.

“ What?” He growled at the owner of the voice, too late realizing that Scott would never do that. Ororo came to him.

“ You ok, my friend?” She asked and lay a hand on his shoulder.

“ Yes, I’m just…a little tired,” Logan answered in his best Scott voice. “ What can I do for you?”

“ I have the finances for the school here as you asked for and the list of things we need to have done,” she handed both to him and he reluctantly took them. “ And remember to correct the reports till tomorrow on Sheakespeare,” with that she left, leaving a very desperate Logan behind. He went into Scott’s office and lay the stuff on his deck. No way was he going to go through the school’s finances or even look at that list. He had had a day in hell. He deserved some peace and quit. In class he had even noted down a few students who had seemed a bit too interested in him personally and who kept trying to get the discussions off topic. Not that many of them had been on topic anyway but…He sat in Scott’s chair and closed his eyes, trying to relax.

Part 7:   

Scott went around the mansion, trying to find something unusual. He had searched the students rooms but been unable to find anything. He had run a check on all students and come up blank too. He had talked to the Professor about him making a psi-scan on all students but they had decided that even though it would reveal the guilty he/she would run before they could get to him/her and even if they caught him/her they’ll gave difficulties getting him/her to undue the switching.

“ Logan,” Jean said with a smile and came to him. As she reached him she let a hand run playfully over his arm and Scott stiffened. Had Jean…with Logan? He didn’t know why the thought disturbed him so much. Jean had never claimed to love him and he had found that what he had thought to be love and only been the fear of being alone again.

“ What do you want…., Jeannie?” Scott asked and remembered to use Logan’s name for Jean. He wasn’t sure how to react to her as he didn’t know what kind of relationship Logan had with Jean.

“ I know you told me your heart belonged to someone else and that it wasn’t to me but….,” she leaned in and kissed him on the lips before Scott drew back as if burned.

“ What are you doing?”

“ I want you, I never claimed anything else. You said before you didn’t want me but I don’t believe you,” Jean leaned in for another kiss but Scott caught her and with the strength of Logan’s body, held her at arms leant with amazingly ease. Logan had turned her down! The thought, the knowledge made him give a small half smile and a warmth spread through his body.  

“ I said no, Red, and I mean it,” Scott said and felt very happy to know that this would have been words Logan had used once and words he hoped he would have used again if he had been faced with the situation. He let go on Jean and walked away, leaving her to stare unbelieving after him.

“ You’ll come back but this time do so begging,” Jean yelled furiously after him.

“ Don`t count on it, Darlin`”

Part 8:

It was very late and Logan went to his room. As he opened the door he saw the bed already taken. With himself…oh, Scott in it.

“Oh, yeah,” he mumbled and hurried out. He needed to go to Scott’s room. After some discrete and not so discrete ( after some 20 minutes without finding the right room he simple asked the first person he thought he could trust and that had been a very confused Kitty who had pointed to his room. Logan had tried to explain his way out of it by claiming he hadn’t been living in his own room for very long to which Kitty had replied that no, it had only been 4 months and left) searching he reached his room and went in.

One day of being Scott Summers had been more than enough for Logan. To think that Scott did this every day. However Logan got to admit that the day’s events had changed his way of seeing a lot of things. Had changed his way of seeing Scott, of seeing his own behavior towards the other man. Thinking about Scott, schools and more he began to undress. He had taken off his shirt and went past the mirror to go to the bathroom. He cast a fleeting red glance at the mirror but had to back up and look more closely as he saw his…hum, Scott’s chest. This was getting way too weird for Logan.  But he forgot all about telepaths and body shifting as he saw the marks on his…Scott’s chest. They were long and seamed to orientate from the back. As he turned around and saw his back he gasped in shook. It was criss-crossed with a fine network of small white scars. The abuse had been so often that not a single space of his back was left unmarked. The scars had been made by a belt or a whip. So, that was why Scott had wished they had found the person behind it all before the day was over. Before he had known this. Logan felt a stab of pain for the other man but more than anything a red hot rage. A desire to kill whoever had hurt Scott. The thought that it could have been the professor entered and left his mind. Scott and Xavier’s relationship was far too loving for that but if Logan had thought that there had been even the remotest chance of Xavier being behind it, he wouldn’t have hesitated to go and try to kill him on sight. No one should ever hurt Scott as long as he lived and from now on he’ll make sure to that. He’ll protect him not only from the world but from himself as well. But a flicker of doubt was in his mind. Scott wasn`t his, wasn’t his mate, then he wasn’t his to protect either. But he ignored that voice. What wasn’t could be.

Part 9:

Hands reaching for him, a voice yelling at him, darkness, always darkness.

“ Father, please. Don’t,” he pleaded and lifted his hand in front of his face to try and protect himself.

“ Don’t you dare call me that, you filthy mutant. You are no son of mine,” the voice was harsh but the blow was even harder.

“ NOO!” Scott yelled and sat up in bed with a jerk. He saw someone sitting on his bedside and his mind still in his nightmare, he felt the claws come through his skin.

“ Relax, sugah. It is just me…. Rogue. You had a bad dream,” a sweet southern accented voice said and lay a calming hand on his right hand, unafraid of his claws.

“ Rogue?! What are you doing here?” Scott asked confused. Why was she in his…Suddenly he remembered. He was in Logan’s bedroom, in Logan’s body. Oh, yeah. Wonderful.

“ You never call me Rogue,” Marie said softly, a hint of pain in her voice. Ups.

“ Sorry, kid. My mind was…. drifting,” Scott said and stroked a hair behind her ear. It was dark so he couldn’t see her clearly but her shadow was pretty. Sitting on his bedside she looked like a Goddess or a Queen. A sting of unease and jealousy hit him. Did this happen often? Did Rogue often come into Logan’s room? Just what kind of relationship did these two have?

“ Want to talk about it?” Rogue asked kindly.

“ Not really,” Scott admitted.

“ Ah had a nightmare too,” Rogue admitted. She isn’t going to tell me about it, is she? Scott thought panicked. Her saw her lips move to form words. Oh, great. She is going to tell me about it. Sharing is so not me, he thought darkly. Ok, no panic. I can do this, he repeated in his mind, hoping it’ll help.

“ It was the one with ma…parents,” she admitted. Come on, girl. Give me a little more than that to go on, Scott wished fanatically. “ They…didn’t want me,” he could clearly hear the pain in her voice.

“ Sometimes it is better to be alone,” Scott whispered as he could feel her eyes on him.

“ Why?”

“ Because then you can’t get hurt,” the words were out his month before he could regret it. Even in the dark her smile lit the room.

“ Ah´ll never hurt you,” Rogue whispered softly.

“ I know…but I might hurt you,” Scott whispered sadly under his breath.

“ Ah don’t want to go back to ma room,” Rogue whispered after awhile. Scott saw that her nightdress was a long dress with a hood. She sounded so lost and alone, feelings he knew well, so he drew the covers back from the side of the bed where she sat.

“ You can sleep here,” he offered and she jumped under the covers and curled up besides him.

“Thanks, Logan,” she whispered and Scott smiled. He wanted to dislike her because of her special bond with Logan but couldn’t. He drew her close so she lay with her head on his chest, her hood between their skins.

“ Anytime, kid. Anytime,” he said softly and kissed her hooded head. Even if it was just for tonight he had someone who loved him unconditionally. He knew she loved the body he was in and not him and he knew that her deep love for Logan disturbed him as long as he was unsure as to what kind of love it was they shared but for tonight he pretended that he was the person that she loved; as a brother, a father or whatever way she might view Logan.

 

Part 10:

Scott went to the Professor’s office the next day. Logan had given him a list of some ten possible students who he thought could have been behind the body switching.  He had been nervous about facing Logan as he knew that he would have seen the scars. He had expected questions to which he wasn’t ready to answer but more than anything; he had feared his mock. But Logan had done either. He hadn’t even mentioned it but his tone had been softer and he hadn’t called him One-Eye or said insults. He had called him “Slim” though but it had had a loving undertone and Scott found he liked the name. He had wondered yesterday why Logan had come back. It hadn’t been for Jean, he had seen that. Could it have been for Rogue? Possibly. He had seen the great love they both bore for each other. For some reason the thought of them together bothered him and he felt a sense of jealousy like none other he had ever felt.

“ Logan,” a joyous voice said and the object of his thoughts ran into his arms.

“ R…Marie,” Scott said as he closed his arms lightly around her clothed form. They used to hug every time they met? Well, of cause they hugged but in what way? What is like father/daughter, friends or…more?

“ Ah´m so glad you’re back. Ah have missed you so much,” Rogue said as she drew back.

“ I missed you too, kid,” Scott said in what he hoped sounded like a Logan response.

“ Will you stay?” She asked and looked with big green eyes at him.  So she had green eyes. And pretty too. Scott could understand why Logan would find her attractive.

“ I’ll think about it,” Scott said and in that moment the bell to class ran.

“ Got to go. Love you,” she said as she gave him a quick hug and left. Great! She loves him, Scott thought darkly. Rogue turned questioningly around as if waiting for a response and Scott forced his lips to move;

“ Lov` you too, kid,” the words brought a bitter taste to his tongue and a tear to his eye. Rogue smiled back at him and left. In that moment Scott wanted to kill her and instantly felt guilty over the thought. Logan was not his to feel possessive towards. His feelings and thoughts were in turmoil as he walked and before he knew it he had reached the Professor’s room.

“ Scott, you have found something?” Xavier asked as Scott entered. It wasn’t really a question but Scott answered anyway.

“ Yes, since Logan has the most contact with the students now he found some he thought could be possibilities. I ran them through the computer and found five I think it could be,” Scott laid the list with names on Xavier’s desk and he read them.

“ Sarah,” Xavier said as he saw the first name on the list.

“ Yes. I consider her a possibility. She has a terrible temper and fights with everyone, especially Ororo. We know almost nothing of her past and she has never told us about her powers. We can see that she grows bones outside her body thereby her codename name Marrow but other than that…”

“ Yes, you are quite right but I would have expected a direct attack from her and not this.” Xavier looked at the paper again. “ Emma Frost.”

“ Yes, she is a quit young woman but her hate towards me she has never hidden. She is sneaky and would do something like this. We also know little of her background.”

“ True, but she hasn’t got telepathic abilities so powerful as to do something like this,” Xavier protested.

“ We think she doesn’t. As you said yesterday; the person behind this would hide his/hers true potential,” Scott said, trying to convince him. Something in him told him that Emma Frost was the person they were looking for.

“ If it is her how you do suggest we proceed? It is after all you…and Logan who has to decide this.”

“ I think your idea was the best. We’ll let her believe she failed and if she is as set on revenge as I think she is; she’ll try again. And after that….” Scott gave Xavier a questionable look. In colors! He had had color visor ( in other than shades of red) for over 24 hours now yet he couldn’t get over the miracle of colors. Last night he had been afraid to go to sleep, fearing that it had all been a dream and he’ll wake up and see only red. He had to admit that he enjoyed Logan’s strong body and color vision and a small voice in his head wanted to keep it. But his heart won out. Logan had never done anything to deserve to be cursed with those glasses as he was and he knew Logan was going crazy with those glasses on and without his usual strength and senses. He had been in Logan’s world only a day yet he began to understand Logan’s arrogance towards the world. A man who was almost immortal was bound to feel some sense of superiority against the world. But then Logan wasn’t like that. He might be arrogant but he was never the one to point out others weaknesses.

“ After that I will take care of her,” Xavier said sternly. He was after all the world’s most powerful telepath. She couldn’t possibly be more powerful than him.

Part 11:   

It happened the next day. Scott was outside fixing his bike ( the most useful job he could do as Logan without drawing attention to himself) and Logan was teaching or attempting to teach mathematics. He felt a burning pain spread through his skull and took his hands to his temples as he buckled over in pain. As he raised his gaze again he was back in class, his world covered in red and his head hurting like hell from the little reminder of the transfer mixed with his own headache at its worst. He felt joy but also a stab of sadness. He had lost it again. All those wonderful colors. Gone. His gaze settled on Emma who sat as if frozen and Scott knew that a fight on the astral plan was on. As he went to her she let out a scream and Scott caught her in his arms as she fainted. He wanted to go find Logan to see if he was alright but needed to move Emma first. He gathered her in his arms and went to the door.

“ Class read next chapter till I return,” Scott said as he existed, leaving a dumbstruck class behind. He went through the corridor and entered Xavier’s room.

“ Are you alright, Professor?” he asked concerned as he saw Xavier’s strained face.

“ Yes, I’m alright. You were right however; she is very powerful,” Xavier said as he came towards Scott as he lay the unconscious girl on the couch.

“ What are we…to do with her?” Scott asked as he pointed to the unconscious girl lying on the couch.

“ I will put a mind block on her and then work with her to resolve her anger,” Xavier said as he moved closer to her.

“ She will be unable to use her powers?” Scott classified to be absolutely sure. Body shifting wasn’t all the fun it was blown up to be and he’ll rather it didn’t happened again. Not that Logan didn’t have a nice body….Ok, stop that thought right there, Summers!

“ Yes,” Xavier lay his hands on either side of her head and closed his eyes as he concentrated. The girl let out a small mock and Xavier frowned in concentration. Scott watched with concern until Xavier finally drew back and opened his eyes.

“ You alright?” Scott asked softly as Xavier drew deep breaths.

“ Yes but she has a lot of anger and power. She resisted me every step of the way.”

“ Is she…..,” Scott nodded to Emma.

“ She’ll be fine. She’ll wake up in a few hours,” Xavier said, mistaking his question for concern for her safety.

“ Joy,” Scott mumbled and Xavier gave him a half-smile.  “ I’ll….,” Scott nodded to the door.

“ You go see if Logan’s ok,” Xavier said with a smile. He remembered those blooming feelings from when he had first met Eric. With a smile Scott left and Xavier wondered if he even realized the deep of his feelings. As a telepath he knew. Scott’s feelings got broadcasted to him as clearly as if he had written a sign.

Part 12:

Scott went down the corridor wondering if Logan was alright. He hoped the transfer hadn’t been too hard on him. As he passed a corner the object of his thoughts came to him, having been searching for Scott to make sure he was safe.

“ Logan,” Scott said as he came to him and couldn’t hide a smile. He was so glad to see his again yet he missed seeing him in colors although it had been a little strange to see him in colors on himself so to speak.

“ Slim, you ok?” Logan asked as his gaze softened as he reached the other man. How he had missed seeing him properly and then in colors. He never realized how much he loved all those colors until he had lost them. And Scott looked so good…especially in colors. Sun brown shin, brown hair….Better stop that thought right there before his control slipped.

“ I’m fine and you?”

“ I’m alright”

“ Good.”

“ Good.”

A strange silence feel over them as they both struggled to put words on feelings they couldn’t describe.

“ I was thinkin` of taking a ride tonight. Want to come?” Logan asked and his eyes held a eager and pleading gleam.

“ I’ll love that,” Scott said warmly and Logan smiled. Lost in the moment Scott totally forgot that the bike Logan had invited him for a ride on was his own that Logan hadn’t asked to borrow. Some things never changed.

“ Then, I’ll see you there. Eight o’clock tonight,” Logan said as the bell ran to class.

“ Yes, you will,” Scott said softly and looked after him till he disappeared around a corner. Scott went to his office to get some books as he noticed some papers on his desk. Must be the finances and the list of stuff I need to get fixed, Scott thought. He picked up the “to do” list but as his eyes ran over it he saw that there was lines all over the things, indicating it had all been taking care of from the hole in the fence to the broken washing machine. Disbelieving he opened the account books and saw figures lined up. The figures for the rest of the year was already made. As he tuned a page something fell out. It was a red rose and a note. Scott picked up the flower and smelled it. It was sweet and full. Holding it in his hands he opened the note;

 

“ Scott,

It really sucks to be you

But that is why

You’re you and I’m me

Works great that way.

Oh, and Slim did I mention

That I totally hate the color red?

Logan”

 

Scott smiled and held the note to his chest. He noticed writing on the back on the note;

 

“  Hearts speak volumes

Words do not”

 

Scott wondered about the words. Had they been meant for him or someone else? But even though he had doubts his heart still beat wildly in his chest as he gently placed the rose in his pocket and went to class.

Part 13:

Scott went to the garage a little late. He had had a damn trouble finding something fitting to wear. Not too sexy as he wasn’t sure if Logan would call this a date but not too boring and indicate a non-interest which was far from the truth. He had settled on formfitting pants and a shirt which he let stand a little open in the front. When he reached the garage Logan was already there, waiting for him. He sure looked good in those pants, shirt and leather jacket.

“ Hey,” Scott said as way of greeting as he came to the other man. His right hand was in his pocket and his fingers brushed the rose Logan had given him.

“ Slim,” Logan growled and lay a hand on his shoulder, drawing him close.

“ I…,” Scott began but stopped as his respiration ran wild as Logan drew him closer. When their lips were inches apart a voice ran in Scott’s head.

* Scott, look out. She escaped me. I think….* the Professor’s voice was caught off and as Scott focused on Logan he saw the other man’s eyes go wide and he punched himself in front of Scott.

“ Get behind me!” he yelled as he eased Scott behind him as a full psychic attack was launched, aiming at Scott. Logan´s interference made Emma focus on him and he fell to the floor in pain. Scott turned around and saw Emma, her eyes alight with power as she made Logan crumble on the floor in pain.

“ Release him! Let him go!” Scott ordered as he stood before Logan.

“ I finally realized what would hurt you the most “fearless leader”. Logan was never your enemy. No, being trapped in his body wasn’t as bad as all that. Seeing the one you love die without being able to do something; what is my revenge,” she lifted her hand and Logan couldn’t hold back a scream of pain as mental fingers tore his mind apart even as the Professor tried to shield it.

“ Stop it! What did I ever do to you?” Scott yelled desperately, tears coming to his eyes. It pained him beyond words to see Logan suffer like this.

“ You killed my lover so now I kill yours, “ she said angrily as she increased the intensity of her attack. Scott fired his beams wide after her but she stood still, sure that he wouldn’t take a life so easily. Her stay at the mansion had taught her one thing about Scott; he seemed to genuinely wanting to do partially anything to avoid killing. Too bad he hadn’t felt that way five years ago when he had killed her lover.

“ It was an accident. I never wanted to kill Sebastian though he was my enemy,” Scott tried to explain. The memory still haunted him and a part of him felt like he deserved her anger and her revenge but he’ll never let Logan get hurt of he could help it.

“ Save your breath. I don’t believe you,” she hissed. Scott knew that sooner or later Xavier would regain control over her powers but before that he’ll loose Logan. He had to take a decision and take one now. Principles or Logan’s life? The decision was quickly made. He could live without principles but not without Logan. Tears ran down his cheeks.

“ I’m sorry. Please forgive me,” his voice was low, pained and weak but the beam which shot from his eyes was anything but.

Part 14:

The energy left Scott’s eyes and he saw it hit Emma on the chest. He quickly closed his eyes but couldn’t block out her scream as she was burned away from the power of his stare. Tears fell from his eyes. Oh God, what had he done? Defended the person who meant more to him than anything but at what price? As he put his glasses back on he looked only at Logan, refusing to look where Emma had been standing. Logan lay still, blood coming from his mouth and nose. Oh God, he was dead. No he couldn’t be. He couldn’t. Scott bent down besides Logan’s lifeless body and felt for a pulse. None. Oh, No. Scott felt his world come tumbling down as he felt the life leaving Logan’s body. No, he wouldn’t allow this to happened. He leant over and pressed his lips to Logan’s, letting his breath be Logan’s. Even though his thoughts and feelings were in turmoil he still had time to savor the sweet taste of Logan’s lips against his own. He lay his hand over Logan’s still heart and pushed hard against his chest. Fanatically he gave Logan his breath and life, praying he’ll pull through. Tears ran down his cheeks as time ceased to exist.

“ Come on, come on. Breathe. Breathe damn you,” Scott whispered in between breaths. He had to be alright, he had to.

* Scott, my son. You need to let him go,* Xavier’s thought came to him, kind, warm but with a hint of sadness.  

“ NO! I refuse to give up. I….,” as his red gaze swept over Logan’s still body reality hit him. It was over.

Part 15:

The tears were blinding him and his heart was dying. Slowly Scott bent down and planted a soft kiss to Logan’s forehead.

“ I never said in words what was in my heart but now I know; I love you. I always have and always will. I just didn’t realize it before now,” a tear fell from his cheek and landed on Logan’s lips. Scott bent down and kissed those still lips and he tasted the bittersweet taste of tears. Oh, Logan. What am I to do without you? Scott thought sadly. It took a minute for him to realize that the lips he was kissing was responding and strong arms was laid around him, pressing him closer.  Scott pulled away in shock.

“ Logan! You’re alive,” Scott voice held a world of joy. His eyes became wide as he saw Logan smiling back up at him.

“ Yeah, healin` factor and all.  Did I or did I not hear you declaring your undying love to me?” Logan asked with a smirk. If Scott wasn’t so happy to have him back and loved him so much he’ll had smashed him right in the face for that.

“ You did as I do love you,” Scott said and couldn’t keep from smiling. He was back. Logan was back!

“ Lov` you too, Slim,” Logan said warmly. Scott was his. Finally, he had his mate within his heart as well as in his arms.

“ Kiss me,” Scott mumbled happily as Logan drew him closer.

“ Finally something I want to do…,” Logan growled and drew Scott down to a kiss. Scott let his tongue explore Logan’s mouth, feel his teeth and share his breath. They drew apart and Scott half kneeled besides Logan. With a small smile Scott opened Logan’s belt and unbuttoned his pants.

 “ Wha....” Logan began, not knowing what to say, what to do, what to think. Feelings and actions were two very different things.

“ I almost lost you,” Scott whispered as he drew Logan’s pants all the way down.

“ Slim! What if someone comes?” Not that he cared all that much but this was more than a little....he had had this fantasy often but when it was finally happening, when Scott was finally within his reach………he didn’t know what to do and that made him uneasy and he hated feeling he wasn’t in control of things.

“ The professor will keep them away,” Scott reassured. He needed this now. He needed warmth and nearness. He needed to reassure himself that Logan was real. He needed to forget what he had done, what had happened. Scott reached for Logan’s penis and began to gently run his hands over it. He felt him stiffen beneath his fingers yet still he felt Logan draw back from him.

“ Scott....” Logan’s voice was low and something in it made Scott draw back and look up at him. In his eyes Scott read lust, desire, love.........and beneath it......fear?!

“ You have never done this before, have you?” Scott asked softly, letting a hand run over Logan’s cheek.

“ What do you mean?” Logan growled, instinctively stepping into defence mode.

“ Been with a man,” Scott clarified. Logan didn’t answer but in his eyes Scott could read the truth.

“ We don’t have to do this,” Scott reassured him and careened Logan’s cheek to assure him it was alright.

“ I want to,” Logan growled. Even now his voice was strong and sure. This was ridicules; he loved Scott, he wanted Scott. What was he afraid of?

It must be very hard for him; being scared of something, not knowing what to do, Scott thought as he saw Logan’s conflict in his eyes.

“ Close your eyes,” Scott said softly and bent down and let his tongue run over Logan’s penis´ head. Logan moaned in pleasure yet still he seemed tense. “ Close your eyes,” Scott repeated.

“ I trust you with my life,” Logan admitted, his fists opening and closing besides his body, not knowing what he should do with them.

“ Then trust me with your love......and your body,” Scott unbuttoned Logan’s shirt and let his tongue run over Logan’s chest and play with his nipples. A sign of pleasure escaped Logan’s lips. “Close your eyes and just......” Scott licked the sensitive flesh on Logan’s penis` head again. “...feel.”

Logan closed his eyes and just let sensations watch over him. Never had he felt such pleasure. Scott really knew what he was doing. He let his tongue run over Logan’s penis and took all of it in his mouth. Logan sighed and reached in blind for Scott as he was being taken to agonizing heights of ecstasy. Scott sucked and licked until Logan exploded in his mouth. As he came Logan opened his eyes and looked at Scott. Scott smiled at him as he avoided to swallow and drew back. Logan finally got a good grip on Scott and drew him close and into a kiss. This time it was Logan’s tongue which invaded Scott’s mouth and Scott let him play with his tongue and feel his way around. When they broke apart Logan was smiling at him. Scott smiled back.

“ Thanks,” Logan said so lowly Scott barely head. Scott grinned.

“ My pleasure,” he said and lay his head on Logan’s chest, listening to his heartbeat and feeling his warmth. Logan closed his arms around him, holding him close and safe. Scott signed in pleasure. This was what he had always wanted; to be safe in his lover’s arms.

“ I love you, Logan,” Scott whispered, listening to Logan’s hypnotizing heartbeat.

“ Love you too, Slim. Lov´ you too,” Logan said softly and squeezed Scott closer to him. His Scott, his mate. Safe in his arms. This was how it was supposed to be. He knew that now. When Logan looked down at Scott he saw that he had fallen asleep in sheer exhaustion. Logan smiled fondly and rubbed Scott’s hair.

“ Sweet dreams, Slim,” Logan whispered and tried to contain a yawn. Almost getting his brain fried took its turn even on his system. Logan smiled for himself and kissed the top of Scott’s head. It had been worth it though to finally get Scott in his arms. With his arms around Scott he too fell asleep from the strain of the day.

 

 Part 16:

“ What happened, Professor?” Scott asked of him as he later ( much later) joined him in his office.

“ She tricked me. I scanned her and found her still unconscious. But it turned out that she wasn’t and she went after you again,” Xavier didn’t say it but his voice spoke of the blame he considered himself to carry in Emma’s death.

“ It wasn’t your fault. I did this and I also must carry the blame for what happened as well as why,” Scott said warmly as he kneeled by Xavier’s wheelchair.

“ Speaking of why…why did she want revenge? While you have been at the school you have never done anything which could bore such hatred.”

“ No. It was before I came here,” Xavier sent him a questioning look. “ It’s a long story.”

“ Which you can’t …wouldn’t elaborate on,” Xavier said mildly as he accepted Scott’s poor explanation. Even without trying he could feel the pain from the memory which was associated with remembering why Emma had been angry at him. A pain so deep that Xavier wasn’t even sure he wanted to know why.

“ Yeah,” Scott said softly, his mind lost in unpleasant memories.

“ Logan recovered I felt?” Xavier asked amused to try and drive the dark thoughts away from his favorite X-man; his son.

“ Yes, he’s fine now thank God,” Scott said warmly and joyous thoughts of love and desire filled Scott’s mind and lay as a comfortable blanket around Xavier’s mind.

“ Good,” Xavier said, a gleam in his eyes.

“ You knew, didn’t you? You let me think he was gone to make me admit my feelings,” Scott said accursedly but gratitude was in his eyes if Xavier could have seen them. But then with Xavier only thoughts mattered.

“ Maybe,” Xavier said mysteriously but a small smile lit up his face.

“ Slim!” Logan’s voice ran through the corridor and Scott walked to the door, a smile on his lips before turning back to Xavier and doing something he almost never did. He hugged the other man but hurriedly let go as he knew Logan was very jealous and possessive.

“ Thank you,” Scott whispered and left. Without Xavier’s words he may never had admitted his feelings. He owned him a debt of gratitude he could never repay because how do you thank a man who has opened your eyes so you could find your soul-mate?

“ You’re welcome….son,” Xavier said softly into the stillness. He frowned as he heard a voice in his mind;

* I’ll be back, Xavier and this time Summers will be mine!*

The telepathic voice was quickly gone and Xavier wasn’t sure if he had heard it or not.

Down the hall Scott and Logan met in a embrace and a kiss, lost in each other as the rest of the world ceased to exist for a moment in time.

Two hearts met and become one as love won out in the end.

 

The End