Title: No Touchy Feely
Author: Bani
Email: banime78@aol.com  
Summary: This story is told entirely in the first person by Rogue. It is
about her need for
touch from a certain under appreciated hunk.
Rating: PG -15 for Language and Adult themes
Genre: Rogue w/brief appearances from Ororo, Scott, Jean and Logan.
Authors Note: O.K. people this is my first fic. So, don't be too hard on me.
In addition, if
you Love Jean do not read this story.
Archive: Sure where ever you want if your brave enough to want it. Heck tape
it to a stall
in the men's bathroom if ya want. Just drop me a line letting me know O.K.
Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters in this little story. Suing me
would be
pointless I don't own anything of value. But if you feel the need for greed
be my
guest.<G>


I walk the empty hallways of the school glad to be the only soul awake.
This is
the only time I can indulge in my secret pleasure. Touch. I am not wearing my
long opera
style gloves nor are there any socks on my feet. The carpet is soft and
luxurious beneath
me. However, tonight I just cannot seem to derive any pleasure from the
feeling. I run my
hand over the polished stairway handrail but there is no thrill in the touch.


Why? This has always been the perfect way to calm my thoughts before I fall
asleep. What is wrong with me tonight? I do not know why I feel so depressed
by my
new discovery. It should not have been such a surprise. I mean I cannot touch
humans or
animals without fear of killing them. Why was it so bad to find out that I
could not touch
a plant without killing it also?


It had all started that morning when Ororo a.k.a. Storm, had asked me to help
water her plants. I figured she was just trying to make me feel better about
not hearing
anything from Logan. It seemed that everyone thought they had to be extra
nice to me
because he had left. They all thought that I had a crush on him still.


Not wanting to hurt the older woman's feelings, I accepted. I had always
liked to
help my mother with her plants so this would be kind of therapeutic. After
helping her
water, she convinced me to touch the plants without my gloves on.


"Plants need to feel touch just like any other living thing." She told me. I
suppose
it should have occurred to me that my powers worked the same on all living
things.
However, I craved the sensory perceptions I would get from touching the
leaves.





Ignoring the little voice whining softly in the back of my mind I reached
out to
touch the delicate leaves of the nearest plant. All most immediately I knew
something
was wrong. I jerked away and looking down I saw that the leaf I had been
touching had
turned brown.


Then leaves started falling to the ground dead one after the other. Until the
ground
at my feet was littered with the remnants of the once beautiful living plant.
Hearing a
gasp from behind me I turned to see the stricken face of Ororo. I could not
have felt
worse had I kicked a puppy.


I ran from Ororo's greenhouse. I did not realize where my feet were taking me
until I found myself in the garage. Looking around I found the only person
that could
understand my pain.


He was in the corner tinkering with his new scoot. He had been working on it
ever
since he found out Logan had 'borrowed' the old one. Sensing my approach (as
he
always seemed to) he raised his head and smiled kindly. The smile faded when
he
realized that I was not smiling back. I knew he could not see the tear tracks
on my face.
His ruby quartz glasses prevented him from noticing little details like that.
However, he
seemed to sense it. This only made me cry more.


"What is it Marie? What's happened?" Scott asked softly. He has always called
me Marie and not Rogue. He rose from the ground where he had been kneeling.
He
walked toward me slowly as if I were a skittish doe. Maybe that was how I
appeared I do
not know.


"Ah killed Ororo's plant." I sobbed.


"Forget to water it?" He teased.


"No, Ah touched it and it died." I replied with remorse.


"Oh." I could tell he had not been expecting my somber reply. "Well it can't
be
helped now." He stated sympathetically. Reaching out he squeezed my shoulder.





I closed my eyes savoring the feel of his touch. Simple as it was. It meant
so
much. He was always doing something like that. Ruffling my hair, tweaking my
nose,
patting my cheek. I remembered every simple touch. My mother had always told
me you
never appreciated what you had until it was gone. She had been right and I
never felt it
more than when he would touch me so simply.


I didn't fancy myself special or anything like that. I knew Scott gave equal
attention to all of the kids at the school. However, he seemed to make more
of an effort to
show that he was not afraid to touch me.


"Don't worry about the plant Marie." He said breaking into my thoughts. "
I'll
take you into town and you can buy Ro a new one." He tugged on my shoulder
bringing
me into a hug.


It was almost too much to bear. All of those sensations ricocheting through
my
body. I felt as if a million butterflies had taken up residence in my
stomach. Then it was
over and he released me from the sweet torment of his arms. *Too soon* my
body
screamed at me. But I ignored it. I was getting used to ignoring my bodies
demands for
sensation.


"Thanks, Scott. Ahe'd like that very much." Oh would I ever. Just the thought
of
being alone with him away from the others had the butterflies going again.


"It's no problem. I was going to take Jean in to get groceries anyway." He
replied.
Squashing my little fantasy without meaning to.


Jean. What was it about her? All the boys at school had crushes on her. Logan
even fancied himself in love with her. She wasn't exactly knockout gorgeous
or anything.
Dark red hair with plain brown eyes. She didn't have much in the manner of
curves
either. She was pretty in a girl next-door kind of way. But not enough so as
to be the
focus of every guy in the house over twelve's wet dreams.


It couldn't be her personality either. The woman was obsessed with research.
She
didn't have a sense of humor even. The whole panty-freezing thing with Bobby
had
proven that. Nor was she very sympathetic.





Nope there wasn't anything special about Jean Grey. Yet she had Scott wrapped
around her little finger. I fumed about it.


"Maybe Ah'll take a rain check on that trip to town sugah." I said suddenly.
I did
not want to sit in the back of Jean's car and watch Scott touching her. He
was always
holding her hand and squeezing her knee. I just could not stand that after
the day I had.


Scott frowned and was about to reply when Ms.Every mans fantasy intruded.


"There you are Rogue. Ororo told me about the incident in the greenhouse.
That is
something that I even could not have anticipated." Jean droned on but I had
already tuned
her out. Furtively watching Scott instead. His face had softened into a soppy
smile when
he had seen Jean. It wasn't fair that she had the best guy in the whole
school. I seethed.


Jean must have caught me staring at Scott because she suddenly trailed off. I
realized she had stopped talking and looked back at her. The expression on
her face was
not pretty. She looked seriously pissed. Face flushed, nose flared, and her
mouth was all
pinched up.


"May I speak with you Rogue?" She phrased it as a question but it was more a
demand.


"Suh." I replied knowing she was going to give me one of her lectures. She
always seemed to find something to lecture me on.


I followed her out of the garage, leaving behind a confused Scott. She led me
into
the Study and shut the door. Turning she fixed her burning gaze on me and if
looks could
cause pain I would have been doubled over in agony.


"Rogue I realize you miss Logan and that you have a little crush on him. But
you
can not transfer your feelings for Logan to Scott." Her voice dripped with
false concern
for me.





"Ah don't know what you're talking about sugah. Ah don't have a little crush
on
Logan as you put it. So how can Ah transfer feelings Ah don't have too
Scott?" I asked
oh so politely.


"Look Rogue you do not have to pretend with me I know that you think that you
are in love with Logan. Moreover, I saw you looking at Scott. I know that
look. I have
seen it on enough of the other girls faces." She paused to sigh. "But I think
you might just
have gotten it into your head to go after Scott. He is a very handsome man
and he is kind.
Nevertheless, he is too old for you. I do not want to see you get hurt
Rogue." She tried for
the concerned older sister routine and over shot it.


"Like Ah said before Ms.Grey Ah don't think Ah'm in love with Logan and Ah
don't know how mah looking at Scott has anything to do with it." I tried to
sound
confused. But I am not the best actress.


"I am trying to be nice here Rogue. I know your situation has forced you to
grow
up faster than other girls your age. But you are still not emotionally ready
for the kind of
relationship you are dreaming of." Her impatience was starting to show.


"Stop treatin' me like Ah don't know mah own mind. Ah know what Ah'm
feelin' and it's none of ya concern. Ah'm certainly no threat to ya." I was
very close to
losing control by then. I just hate it when people talk down to you.


"That's right you are not a threat to me. I know Scott loves me." She smiled
a
little maliciously. "I am just concerned that when Scott realizes you have a
crush on him
you will get hurt. Maybe I should tell him. Then maybe we can get all of this
settled
without anyone being made to feel more uncomfortable." Again with the smile.


"You wouldn't dare." I said furiously.


"Only if you force me to Rogue. I do not want to seem insensitive to your
feelings
but you can never have a relationship with Scott." She paused and smiled. "Or
Logan for
that matter." She finished and I'm so sure she thought she had put me in my
place.






Little did she know how close I came to shutting her up permanently. Just one
touch of my skin to hers and I would never have to hear the Bitch tell me off
in her oh so
polite way again. I could shut her personality up in a little prison in my
head like the
professor had shown me. Not to mention I would have all of her memories. I
could weed
them out from her personality and keep them for myself. All the times her and
Scott had
ever touched and kissed. Best of all I would have all the memories of him
making love to
her.


I snapped out of it when I heard her shut the Study door. Apparently, she
thought
the conversation was over with. I almost ran after her and told the
sanctimonious Bitch
off. Instead I went to my room not speaking to anyone for the rest of the
day. Jubilee and
Kitty my roommates tried to get me to cheer up but I ignored them. I heard
them talking
about how sad it was that I couldn't get over Logan. I wish I dared to tell
them it was not
Logan I wanted it was Scott. But I didn't dare because both girls were
gossips. I did not
want Scott to find out through the grapevine that I loved him. I do though
Love him I
mean. It's probably pathetic but there it is.


So, that brings us back to the present. With me walking through the sleeping
household like some phantom specter. I walk to the hall closet. The one with
everyone's
coats in it. I reach in and bring out a soft leather jacket. It feels so like
skin that I can
almost imagine that it is his skin. I imagine it is still warm from touching
him and wrap
myself in it. If only it was his arms I was wrapped in and not his jacket.
*Scott* my heart
and body cry out. I suddenly realize I am not as alone as I thought. Whirling
around I
hold out my hands defensively.


"Hold up darlin'." An oh so familiar voice whispers.


"Logan?" I know it is he but I still ask anyway.


"Yeh, it's me Marie." He steps into the light shining into the front hall
from the
porch light outside. He looks no different then last I saw him and yet he has
been gone
almost a year.


"What you doing with Scottie's coat darlin'?" He asks gently.






I cannot take the gentleness in his voice and burst out crying. He opens his
arms
and I walk into them gladly.