Title: Responsibility and other Hang-ups
Author: Bani
Email: banime78@aol.com  
Summary: Logan drives home without a radio and only his thoughts to keep him
company (scary).
Series: My Point of View # 5
Rating: PG-15 for lot's of swearing and Adult themes. Come on people this is
Logan.
Genre: Logan, Rogue, Scott, Jean, The Professor, and Mary Ann (o.k. no Mary
Ann but
hey it fit the theme song in my head.)
Authors note: Don't kill me 'kay I know this has gotta be the longest night
since the
whole coronation thing on Day's of our Lives but this is the last one
promise. And the
grammar isn't so great in this story  'cause it's from Logan's point of view
and he don't
like grammar.
Archive: Wherever ya want just drop me a note telling me where.
Disclaimer: I do not now nor have I ever owned the characters in this story.
Jeez, if I did I
would be a very happy chica.
Dedications: This goes out to all the people who never thought it would end
but still read
it anyway.



Who woulda' ever thought that he'd ever be responsible for another
person.
Logan wondered. He couldn't even remember who he was. How the Hell was he
gonna
be able to care for someone else. Especially if that someone else was a
seventeen year old
mutant able to kill with a touch of her deadly skin. Yet, here he was
throwin' his crap into
his beat up duffle bag after gettin' a call from Chuck sayin' Marie needed
him.


Chuck had told him that Marie killed one of Ro's plants by accident. He'd
said
nothin' else, just to get home as soon as Logan could. He had a feelin' that
old Chuck
wasn't telling him everythin'. But he'd rather be haulin' ass home than
tryin' to pry the
rest out of the other man over the damn phone.


Goin' outside he threw his stuff into the back of his pickup alongside
Scottie's
bike. (You didn't really think that I'd still be ridin' around on a
motorcycle in the middle
of October did ya.) He'd gotten the pickup after beatin' the owner at poker.
The idiot
hadn't thought that Logan would really take it. Boy had he been surprised
when Logan
had loaded up Scottie's motorcycle and took off.


He didn't really know why he felt so responsible for Marie. It wasn't
like he'd
even known her for that long. Yet, he'd saved her life twice almost gettin'
his self killed
in the process. He really couldn't pinpoint the exact moment that he'd marked
her as his
and therefore his responsibility. Maybe it was from the beginnin' when she
saved him
from gettin' stabbed in the back. Or maybe it had been when he had sqweered
her and
seen the life slippin' from her eyes. She hadn't even been scared. She'd just
reached out
as if she knew he would save her. Hell he'd never had anyone need or trust
him like that.
Least not that he could remember.





So, yeh, he'd marked her as his (and no he hadn't pissed on her or nothin'
like
that). He'd just made sure that everyone there at that damn school knew he
was the one to
call if she needed him or anythin'. Damn if he wasn't regrettin' that a
little now that he'd
had time to think about things. Eleven months was a long time to think about
your life
and how badly you'd fucked it up.


He seriously didn't want to be goin' back to that damn School. There was a
certain red head there that he didn't want to see right yet. God, he'd
certainly messed that
up. He remembered the last time that he'd talked to her. He'd awoken to her
touch and
smell all around him, that was probably the only reason he hadn't gone
berserk. One of
the first things he'd wanted to know was if Marie was all right. He'd been so
scared that
he hadn't gotten to her in time. The relief he'd felt when Jeannie had
assured him that
Marie was fine had been beyond words. Nothin' in his life had ever felt that
good.
Nothin'.


Then Jeanie had told him that Marie was taken with him. Taken, who used those
kinda words anymore? And he'd stupidly told her to tell Marie that his heart
was already
taken. STUPID ASS. What had he been thinkin'? Love yeh like he really knew
what that
was. He didn't think that he'd ever been in love not even in the life that he
couldn't
remember. He should remember somethin' like that shouldn't he? That wasn't
somethin'
that ya could just forget was it.


That was one of the things he'd discovered while he was out searchin' for his
past. He'd figured out that he didn't love Jeannie. He liked her even wanted
her a lot. But
he didn't love her. Actually, he'd figured that one out when he couldn't keep
his hands
off this little blonde in Calgary but that's another story. So, when he got
back to the
school he'd eventually have to tell her that he'd been a complete idiot. She
probably
already knew that thou' after all she'd been in his mind.



He reached for a cigar as he gunned the motor. Enough thinkin' he needed ta
get
his ass in gear. He was only hours from home. Home where had that thought
come from.
Biting off the end of the cigar, he lit it. Was that huge school home? Shit,
it was the
closest thing he'd had to one in God knew how long. Then of course there was
Marie and
it was her home so of course it had to be his too. At least until she grew up
and didn't
need him anymore.





For some reason that thought disturbed him. Why? He didn't need some kid
slowin' him down, tyin' him to one place. Of course it wasn't the kid's fault
he'd latched
on ta her. So, she'd kinda forced his hand when she'd hitched a ride in the
back of his
truck. It wasn't like she'd ever asked for him ta take responsibility for her.



Lookin' at the dashboard clock, he saw that it was eight o'clock. He had at
least a
six-hour drive ahead of him. Shit just him and his thoughts for six hours. He
wished that
he'd gotten the stupid ass radio fixed. He didn't want to be thinkin' the
whole way back.
Thinkin' about what Chuck hadn't said. Or about how he was gonna help Marie
through
this new discovery. Why couldn't things be simple for once? Fuck it all!



The weird thing about the whole situation was that he felt the need to go
back at
all and help Marie. There'd been plenty of people that could've used his help
over the
past sixteen years and he'd never once tried to help them. Kinda weird that
he felt the
need to help out all of the sudden. Was it some kinda long dormant paternal
instinct
kickin' in? Naw couldn't be that. Shit him paternal. That would be some sorta
miracle.


Only one-thing worse'n med-labs and that was kids. But Marie was different he
told himself. She was fragile but strong. She kinda reminded him of himself
in a way.
(Not the fragile part so stop sniggerin'.) Maybe that was what was drawin'
him back to
her. If he could help her maybe just maybe, he could help himself a little.


God only knew what kinda person he'd been before losin' his memory. He had
his suspicions and they all told him that he'd not been a good man. Maybe if
he could
help her he could make up for his past some. Keepin' her safe made him feel
good. So
helpin' her would probably make him feel better.


Saving her life, those two times had felt great. He couldn't remember the
last time
he had felt so good about himself. Probably never. There was just somethin'
about the kid
that made him feel all protective and Hell if he know why.


So he was gonna drive all night to get to her and try'n make things better.
Not that
he knew how he was gonna do that. Not having a plan was a good thing
sometimes. If
he'd thought about it, he probably would have realized that he had an
ulterior motive. But
he didn't want to think about it.


So, he smoked his cigar and concentrated on gettin' home as fast as he could.
Ignorin' the nigglin' thoughts tryin' to push their selves to the front of
his mind. Growlin'
he cranked the radio up all the way. It didn't really matter if it worked or
not he just
needed the noise. The static assaulted his sensitive hearin' but at least he
couldn't hear
those thoughts anymore.


It was several hours and a lot of cigars later that he finally felt safe
enough to turn
the radio static off. His mind was quite and he smiled. Well at least he
could drive in
piece now.


Nope the silence had been an illusion. He started thinkin' about Chuck's
phone
call again. He'd been shit faced when he answered the phone and couldn't
really
remember what he'd said. All he knew was that it had taken him almost three
days of
none stop drinkin' to get that smashed and when Chuck told him that Marie
needed him
he had immediately sobered up. Amazin' what a dump of adrenaline can do to
clear the
senses and the mind.


Well Fuck! He could see now that he wasn't gonna be able to clear his mind
sittin' pretty in the damn truck. Pullin' over to the side of the road he got
out not
botherin' to lock the truck up. Who would want the piece of crap anyway?


He grabbed his duffle bag and threw it on the ground. Jumpin' up into the bed
of
the truck, he patted his hand on the seat of the bike. Just you, me and the
open road baby
he thought. Heftin' it out of the truck bed he set it on the ground with
reverence. He could
say one thing for Scottie Boy he knew bikes.


Securing his gear to the bike, he slid his leg over the seat. Oh yeah, wasn't
nothin'
like the feel of all that machine between your legs. (Hey, you shut-up I
didn't mean it that
way at all.) He kick started her with a little more force than necessary and
patted her
again to show he was sorry.


Peelin' out he set off down the empty highway. He'd checked the dashboard
clock
before takin' off and knew he only had about three more hours to go. The wind
whipped
by chillin' him. Good if he got hypothermia he would be to busy hallucinatin'
to think
rationally.


His senses opened up and he could smell and hear so much that he forgot all
the
thoughts that had been plaguin' him. So, when he found himself turnin' into
the
Mansion's drive he was surprised to be sure. He roared up to the front door.


Gettin' off the bike he looked around and wondered not for the first time why
the
X-dweebs didn't have better security. The damn front gates had been wide open
for
Christ's sake. With an uptight guy like Summer's headin' the team, you'd
think they
would at least have the sense to lock the gates.


Lookin' into the window beside the front door he got a shock. Marie was
standin'
in front of the hall closet wrapped up in a leather jacket he remembered
seein' Summer's
wearin' once. What was going on here?


He used his key and opened the door slowly so he didn't scare her. She looked
so
small standin' there wrapped in that huge jacket. He felt a suspicious
burnin' at the back
of his eyes. Shakin' himself he swallowed hard. God that hurt! (You ever try
and swallow
your tears? It hurts!)


She suddenly whirled around arms out in front of her defensively. Backin'
away a
step he whispered hoarsely (damn tears anyway) "Hold up darlin'."

"Logan." She sounded as if she couldn't believe he was there and he suddenly
felt
like an ass.

"Yeh, it's me Marie." He stepped forward into the light so's she could see
for
herself that it was really him and he was there.

She didn't say anythin' and so he did. "What you doing with Scottie's coat
darlin'?" He asked gently. Seein' the tears well up in her eyes, he wished he
hadn't said
anythin'.

She burst into tears and I opened my arms not knowin' what else to do. I
heard a
gasp and looked over Marie's shoulder and that's when I saw him. Scott. He
stood there
lookin' as if he had been sucker punched. I glared at him. Couldn't he see I
was busy
with Marie?


That's when everythin' clicked in my head. Everythin' I could hear in Chuck's
voice that he didn't say, Marie wrapped in Scott's jacket and Scott standin'
there lookin'
shocked and hurt. Yeh I'm a little slow not stupid.


So, that was why Chuck had called me. Not because he thought I could help
Marie but because somethin' was going on with Scott and Marie. I put all the
heat I could
inta the glare I'd leveled on Scott. He glared back and then left.


I lay my cheek on top of Marie's head and wondered exactly what the deal was.
What was really happenin' and how did Chuck expect him to help the situation?
Pickin'
Marie up he headed for the Rec. room and sat down on the couch with her in
his lap.
Bein' careful of her exposed skin.

There was gonna be a lot of explainin' in the mornin'. Maybe a little blood
shed.
Specially if Scott had done anythin' to hurt Marie. He'd eviscerate the
little fucker. He
rocked Marie in his lap until he felt her breathin' even out. Then he got up
and carried her
to her room.


Quietly openin' the door to her room 'cause he didn't want her roommates to
wake up and start askin' questions. He walked silently to her bed pullin'
back the covers
on her bed. He pealed Scott's jacket off of her. Then he lay her down and
covered her up
tuckin' the covers around her gently.


He went back to the front hall and threw the jacket back in the closet. The
prick
better be glad he didn't shred it. He was walkin' back towards Marie's room
when he
heard cryin'.

He walked slowly and stealthily toward the Study door, he peeked inside.
Jeanie?
She was curled up on the Study's small couch sobbin' in her sleep. He made
his way into
the room silently and stood over her. Did she know there was somethin' goin'
on between
Scott and Marie? Was that why she was down here cryin' instead of up in her
and Scott's
room.


Leanin' over he pushed some of her abundant red hair back behind her ear and
off
her face. It looked as if she had been cryin' for a while her face was all
puffy and red.
Where was the confident Jeanie he'd last seen? This creature he didn't
recognize.


He backed out of the room as silently as he'd come in. There was definitely
gonna
be some blood shed in the mornin'.


*Logan?* He was startled when Chuck suddenly spoke in his mind. He almost
knocked over some antique lookin' thing.

*What!* He thought back. He didn't know how to communicate this way so
Chuck better just stick around up there and pick up his thoughts.

*If indeed you wish to maim Scott in the morning do you not think you had
better
get some sleep.* Chuck sounded tired.

*Mind your own damn business Chuck. I'll stay up as long as I want ta." He
added what he hoped was the equivalent of a mental growl.


He heard chucklin' in his head so he supposed it worked. *Logan I must admit
I
was asking you to sleep more for my own benefit. You are thinking so fiercely
that you
are projecting. I have had quite a long day and even if you do not need the
sleep, I do. So
won't you please get to sleep.* Chuck finished with a resigned sigh as if he
didn't think
Logan would listen.

*Yeh sure Chuck. I'll get ta sleep. But I'm gonna be sleepin' in Marie's
room.*
He thought back knowin' Chuck was still there.


* I trust you will be sleeping on the floor or a chair Logan.* Logan had a
sudden
mental picture of the other man's eyebrow climbin' his forhead.

*Yeh Chuck I'll be sleepin' in a chair. I'm not stupid.* And with that he
headed
back to Marie's room.


He re-entered as quietly as the last time. Pullin' up one of the dainty
girlie chairs
and settlin' into it. Well Hell! How was he supposed to sleep in this? No
sooner had he
finished the thought then he was asleep.
******************************************************************

OHMYGOD!! This is it I'm done. You can't see me but I'm doing a little chair
dance (no not that kinda chair dance so get your mind out of the gutter.) I
can finally
move on to the next day. Yipee! See ya'll again real soon.